Cardiologist Funeral

Posted in Jokes, Taz with tags , , , on December 28, 2008 by tazspaz

A Cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral.A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the
service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.

The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes
stared at him, he said, ‘I’m sorry, I was just thinking of my own
funeral……..I’m a Gynecologist.’

The Proctologist fainted.

Advertisements

Welfare Check

Posted in Jokes, Taz with tags , , on December 28, 2008 by tazspaz

Guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.  He
marched straight up to the counter and said, “Hi. You know, I just
HATE drawing welfare.  I’d really rather have a job.”

The social worker behind the counter said, “Your timing is excellent.
We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.  You’ll have to
drive around in his Mercedes, and he’ll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.  You’ll be expected
to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have
to satisfy her sexual urges.  You’ll be provided a two-bedroom
apartment above the garage.  The salary is $200,000 a year.”

The guy, wide-eyed, said, “You’re bullshittin’ me!”

The social worker said, “Yeah, well . . . you started it.”

DIRECTV – The Saga Continues …

Posted in Rants, Taz with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2008 by tazspaz

Well it’s with regret that I’m writing this post.  I once adored DIRECTV and told all my friends how great it was.  Over the past couple years I heard horror stories about people in dealing with DIRECTV.  I use to tell them that it must just be them and usually felt it must have been something they did wrong.  The vendor just did what they had to do.

Now enter my issues with DIRECTV.

Come July of 2008 my complex found cabling wrapped in coils around the side of my townhome.  I called DIRECTV and let them know to which they stated it was an incorrect setup and they would comeout and fix it.  I confirmed that this would be at no charge and they verified that.  I asked about mounting the dish to a tripod instead of the side of the building as the property owner was changing policy procedures and was informed that I’d have to pay for the tripod.  That was completely fine as I’d already negotiatied with the property owner that I just needed to show the receipt and it would be taken off my rent due.  So the repair tech (contractor for DIRECTV) came out and agreed that the last person did a horrible job, I paid for the tripod, his phone died while on the line with DIRECTV support and I let him use my cell to call back in at which he used on speaker phone while he talked because it was “hard to hear” and hold my phone.  At this point he verified I was not to be charged for the service call.

August 2008, I get a bill that includes a charge for the service call AND a late fee because I was to “pay at the time of service”.  I called DIRECTV and tried to talk with them about what the heck happened.  I was informed that since I did not have their “protection” plan that I was liable for the service call.  I even had them go back and I gave them the service tech’s name, employee number, and call back that had come out on the call.  To this they still informed me I was liable.  I told them to cancel my account and to send me my final bill.  2 weeks later they directly debit my account from my checking account saying it was valid to do because I had used that debit card 2 times to pay my bill.  Not valid at all in my mind.  They over drew my checking in a huge way.  I called to complain, I went to my bank, both to no avail.  Then as I explained that even the amount they charged me was way to much they had to “investigate” that claim.  This took them all through October and the first part of Novemeber.  They finally agreed they owe me money.  Although much less than they owed me I agreed and said they just needed to send me the check.  Here is where I get livid … “Sir, you should expect to see payment in 6-8 weeks.”  What the heck?!?!  REALLY?!?

So here I sit six weeks later.  Still getting $0 bills saying that they owe me money (3rd month now) and still no repayment from DIRCTV.

For all those I use to shun, I’m sorry.  For those of you that have DIRECTV, I caution you to watch them very carefully.  For those of you that are friends of mine having trouble with them, I advise you get a lawyer.  They are not helpful at all.  Even when they are at fault.

Quick to draw large amounts from your account, customer service seriously lacking (unless you want to be a new customer), and if they owe you … good luck on ever seeing a resolution.

NOTE:  I was a DIRECTV customer for 6 years, took a 3 year break while moving around and used cable, then back to DIRECTV for 1 more year.  This final experiance with them will ensure I never go back.  Please note, as I stated I never had any issues with them until this date.  However, the manner in which all the calls I have place on this issue have been managed gives me enough reason never to work with this vendor again.

Again, some of you may end up looking at this the way I did when others complained, I may just be a sorry luny.  Then again, there are others of you out there that KNOW what I’m talking about.

Always remember, these posts are about MY experiances.  This does not reflect on how YOU may experiance service with the mentioned vendor.  As they say YMMV!

Urgent Microsoft Update!!

Posted in Taz, Technical with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 19, 2008 by tazspaz

Dear readers:

It is once again time for an “out of cycle” patch from Microsoft.  Please, make sure you read the Microsoft Security Bulletin 08-078 and apply accordingly.  It is located here:  http://www.microsoft.com/technet/security/bulletin/ms08-078.mspx

Follow the directions there for your specific patch level and browser type.

Cannot Open Virtual Machine in VMWare Workstation

Posted in Taz, Technical with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on December 12, 2008 by tazspaz

When do you see this error?

Goof! When you, or someone else, does not “properly” shut down your virtual machine!  It could also happen because the host system crashed.  However, I’m pretty sure you did it! 😉

“Could not open virtual machine: C:\…….\machinename.vmx. This virtual machine appears to be in use.”

Here’s what you are going to do; well, if you want to see the VM instance back up anyhow. 
1.  Navigate to the directory where the VM image configuration file in question exists.
            a) you will see four folders with .lck extensions.  The folders are created when you start the instance.  If the VM is properly shut down these folders will be automatically deleted, but if the VM was not shut down properly they will not be deleted and VM will think that the image is already started and not allow you to view/manage the instance.

2.  Okay, now that you are in the directory of said instance and you have located the offending .lck folders; delete them.

3.  Start your instance up and enjoy.

That wasn’t so hard now was it?

My Birthday Today

Posted in Rants, Taz with tags , , , , , , , , on December 11, 2008 by tazspaz

lol, well I guess I should put up a note here as several people have asked why I haven’t told anynoe it’s my birthday.

Well hey, if you know you know.  If you don’t you don’t.  That’s always been my approach to it.

For those of you asking if I feel old, nope.  I’m still 21 at heart.

For those in the area, if you have my number, feel free to give me a call and join in the festivites tonight!

Dallas City Council Passes Smoking Ban

Posted in Politics, Rants, Taz with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2008 by tazspaz

Yes you heard right, Dallas city council passed a new ordinance!  On April 10th smokers, you are banned from the establishments you chose to go to in which you enjoy a smoke. 

REALLY?!?!?!

Why is it that we can infringe on others rights?  Even when I was a non-smoker, yes I smoke now, I didn’t get it. 

So if you smoke, you are in a bar/pool hall/entertainment venue, and I don’t like it would I go to that establishment?  Nope.  Would you? 

Let’s try and put this in a different light; forget the smoking part.  I have stores, restaurants, venues, etc. that I chose not to go to.  Yup, imagine that, places that do a type of business or provide services or just DO something I don’t like.  I chose not to go there and spend my hard earned money.  Do you go to places that you don’t like the atmosphere, that you don’t agree with their type of business, that you just don’t like something about it?  Please, if you answered yes you are an idiot – stop reading now.

Come April 10th your Dallas City Council elected officials (let’s exclude “council members Vonciel Jones Hill, Steve Salazar, Tennell Atkins, Sheffie Kadane and Mitchell Rasansky opposed the measure”1) have decided, citing health reasons, that they need to ban smoking.  Taking it in their own hands to lose revenue from their businesses not only for the city in overall budgetary revenue garnered from those businesses but in effect several businesses will be adversely affected and will close.  Businesses that chose the Dallas venue based on type of clientele.  Now that clientele will be forced elsewhere.  Go ahead, raise the “Sin Tax”.  You know, that tax you won’t be seeing much revenue from because they won’t be needing that in your area any longer.  Proven fact, the bar industry in Dallas will drastically decline.  “Sin Tax” sales will decline.  Where do you think that “ecosystem” is made up?  Property owners watch your taxes in the coming years.  It may take a full year or two but the impact will be felt.  Where else do you get revenue for the city from?  Sales tax, property tax?

If a city such as Plano can negatively feel the impact of a single bar with large revenue being shuttered how much more do you think the city of Dallas will feel multiple bar closings, venues closing, lower sales in tobacco products, etc?  If Martini Park’s closing in Plano has that big an effect as to change a “dry county” policy for the city… I’m just saying.

Guess the next question is, will Dallas residents remember this when the time comes for elections next round?

This message is brought to you for your health and well being; if you are worried about your health and well being please do not frequent establishments where people are smoking.  We promise not to come to your health shake establishment and order a soy, extra protein, extra creatine and light up a smoke beside you at the military press.  Do us a favor and stop infringing on our rights.

 

References: 1TXCN.com

                   DallasNews.com